If youre going to be two-faced, you could at least make one of them pretty. For example, if it is a friend, you can be funny or witty. Whoever cast a voodoo spell on my love life can chill now. I never even listen when you tell me them. If you're really feeling them, you can give them one last chance to make up for their communication lag. Shane from The L Word? Here's a 13-second video explaining how Jennifer Lawrence uses this Surprise Theory: They might even steal it to use in the future. Watch the video: Only 1 percent of our visitors get these 3 grammar questions right 30 Best Responses To An Apology For A Late Reply. Stellar, great, fantastic but dead inside. Be Thankful To Be Alive Quotes. I plead the fifth. If I was any better, vitamins would be taking me. Is It A Bad Idea To Lose My Virginity To An Old Crush? [Read: How to have playful banter and keep the flirting alive forever]. The data will take longer to reach Earth than it would if it was sent from someone on Earth. We cant always get what we want now, can we? Often, we text some people when were at rock bottom, to try and get their help, or just have someone to talk to. 1. count_scoopula 6 yr. ago. 7. 2023 The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. Maybe their roommate was sick. You'll love these 67+ Sarcastic Instagram Captions for couples, friends Use them as you see fit when someone pokes their nose on your relationship status. The best I can be. Tell her that you're there for her to make her laugh, if she needs some company. Hanging on. Someday, you might actually say something intelligent. 4. Maybe you said something so vile, so horrible, so disgusting that they no longer want to speak to you. 2. There is nothing wrong with responding with a funny or witty remark if youre getting annoyed with repetitive questions. Theyre incapacitated when it comes to sending a simple text, yet they can Insta their whole day. Usually, people live and learn. Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. Elon Musk targets Bernie Sanders over tax tweet: 'I keep forgetting that you're still alive' The Twitter spat was in response to Sanders' demand that "the extremely wealthy pay their fair share." With a self-assured stance and casual body language, you won't create any . By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. I favour the "How am I what?" Living the dream! Here's another way to respond to your crush. 81. Your 3rd @ has one shot to make a three or you die. 9 Best Ways To Ask Someone To Talk On The Phone, 9 Other Ways to Say Im Good At on a Resume, 10 Polite Ways to Say No Visitors after Surgery, 11 Best Ways to Say Im Here for You to a Loved One, 10 Professional Ways to Say I Am Not Feeling Well. No one loves superheroes. Because Im awkward and ugly. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping." Youre free to go. Im sorry I hurt your feelings. I had been dead for billions of years before I was born and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience. Mark Twain (author), Im not afraid to die, I just dont want to be there when it happens. Woody Allen (comedian), The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates. Dave Barry (author), Always go to other peoples funerals, otherwise they wont come to yours. Yogi Berra (baseball player), Im very pleased to be here. [Read: 30 foolproof pickup lines and 10 you should never ever use]. Try these OOO messages to let people know you're taking a break. There's no reason why you should have to express emotions to whoever asked. If I had a tail, I'd wag it. This one is bound to get a laugh. 10. My guardian angel be like 2. June 14, 2022; pros and cons of stem cell therapy for knees . but that was before I read Fred's comment below. 38. Do you really care? How much are you willing you pay me if I tell you? And if they don't reply to this, you can walk the walk away. How much do you charge to deliver an STD? For more information, please see our 11. TikTok video from Mark Winston (@markwinstonbball): "Are you still alive? 14. Great, but I should warn you that I am totally biased. Synonyms for Still Alive (other words and phrases for Still Alive). I was hoping you would be able to tell me that. Oftentimes, these people just cant help but stick their noses in things they actually have no business with. Voltaire (philosopher), "As you get older, three things happen. Firing back with something a little funny or witty will make them take notice! What do you mean Im still single. When they play it cool, play it ice cold. So, it might be wise to double-check they're still alive before you complain. Stupidity isnt a crime. Financially? Opposites attract, right? Let's grab a drink" 3) "Hey, how was that [insert something specific she mentioned when you met her]?" 4) "You can stop worrying about me I made it home safely last night" Im quite certain that Im single because I didnt forward those chain messages stating: forward this to 10 people and you will meet the love of your life in 10 days, or else you suffer bad luck in the past. The only thing offending me right now is your face. 30 Funny Comebacks For Late Messages - Grammarhow Hi! Thats no excuse for treating someone like they dont exist, especially since 85% of participants said theyd rather be told upfront that someones not feeling it. Things could be worse I could be you (for siblings ). [Read: The step-by-step guide to being a funny person and make everyone love your company]. How are you? This might be okay if they take up to 24 hours, but not more than that. You don't need to miss them, because you are willing to travel to them, and kiss them. The only way youll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chickens butt and wait. And trust us, once you use these lines, everyone will be ooh-ing to your snarky comments the next time someone dares to make fun of you! I'm wondering how you are. You are living proof that manure can learn to walk and talk. The friendly ghost would never leave you hanging. If you're stuck in a cycle with your ex of being on and off again, but you know it's not going to work out, don't respond. 27. 76. To contact our editors please use our contact form. If you've been stuck inside doing chores and homework all day, and your parents ask you how you are, what response do they expect? If you have nothing to add and to share with a person, this saves their day, too. There are many other euphemisms you could use, though: Still ticking. [Read: How to be a fun texter and make anyone laugh while reading your texts]. I'm fine. I'm used to it, anyway. 13 Wildly Successful People Answer the Question: "What Do You Do?" Thats because I eat Doritos chips too loudly. Who told you that? Some people are going to find your witty responses funny, and some people arent. I think it's a great response when you're possibly feeling cranky. Could Be Better. If you are in a coma, on the other hand, you are legally very much alive. I've Tried, but No One Listens, If I Was Any Better, Vitamins Would Be Taking Me, Better than I Was a Minute Ago, Because You're Here, Okay, Because My Name Wasn't in Today's Obituaries. 40. 4. Cookie Notice Well, I have to go to work so Ill try and make the best of it. 14. 3. See more ideas about maxine, bones funny, funny quotes. Come to think of it, your face is old, too. a fate worse than death." One common excuse that people come up with when they take a while to reply is Im bad at replying. Your secrets are always safe with me. 10. provided, of course, that he really is dead." A A A Remember the time when you hated your ex too much that you wanted him dead? Which just make the unexpected moments of levity all the more hilarious. I have a feeling that my soulmate is somewhere out there pushing a pull door right now. Well, I was trying to be invisible but I guess that didnt work. Your question is registered, we will answer when in the mood. Was that comment meant to offend me? 5 Foolproof Opening Texts to Amp Up Her Attraction FAST - Gotham Club I will leave that up to your imagination. 67. Your attempt at social interaction to be polite is hereby acknowledged. 6. 39 Heartfelt Poems For Your Mom On Her Birthday, Mom And Daughter Relationship: Everything You Need To Know, 150 Special Ways To Wish Your Long-Distance Girlfriend On Her Birthday, 39 Long-Distance Love Letters To Show Your Love For Him, 51 Good Morning Messages For Her In A Long-Distance Relationship, 24 Beautiful And Touching Poems For People In Long-Distance Relationships, 15 Most Important Things In A Relationship, 61 Great Long-Distance Friendship Quotes And Sayings, 9 Important Qualities Of A Healthy And Happy Relationship. I like being single. #19: Bumble comeback The best comeback text yet. 17. Do you like nature, despite what it did to you? Thats funny, because everyone on it is a prick. My day was fine, it was everything else that was the problem. A real low-life. Whether its the Roman empire or feudal society. It must have been a long, lonely journey. Because a single-storey is much more economical than a double-storey. So, how does average sound? I'm alive! Through humorous musings about Scalia's . On Mars, cell phone reception might not be too good. Everyone has a different sense of humor. But, they will grow up into a dog. Damn, now why didnt you think of it earlier?! However, it is best to stick to the basics with a colleague. I am high-quality, 100% plant-fed. Make sure you give witty responses only to persons close to you, or you know they wont get offended by such responses. In fact, they're taking too much of it. April 6, 2018 There's nothing funny about being in a courtroom. Ive never seen such a small mind inside such a large head before. What is the polite way for asking if someone is still alive? That's impossible. You want to make them laugh, not yell. "The trouble with quotes about death is that 99.9% of them are made by people who are still alive." Stop joking! Are you asking just to make yourself feel better? 10 Perfect, Sarcastic Responses To Annoying Humblebrags 13. Financially? What do you say when people ask you that? No, I'm Finnish. 25 Witty Comebacks To Use On Terrible Pick Up Lines Scroll down! So, it might be wise to double-check theyre still alive before you complain. Conspiracy theorist group QAnon hit a bizarre milestone on Tuesday, when its supporters gathered for what they believed would be the return of the late JFK junior - who, they postured, would be. 50. Are you always this dumb, or are you making a special effort today? Listen, maybe your crush really did lose their phone. Brian OldWolf (author) from Troon on July 30, 2020: Yes, this is a very witty, funny article. Whether my maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter. Winston Churchill (politician), At a formal dinner party, the person nearest to death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. George Carlin (comedian), Dont send me flowers when Im dead. *wink*. Save it for your best friend, but avoid using it on your teacher. What Can Be the Worst Epic Responses To I Love You? - Bonobology.com 12. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. is willie rogers of the soul stirrers still alive; cal berkeley football recruiting questionnaire; american housewife cancelled. I suggest you do a little soul searching. 100+ Funny and Clever Answers to "Why Are You Still Single?" It's best to say when you're in a horrible situation, like in a class you can't stand. 6. 28. 13. 2023 The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. (Wriggle your hips) I am as happy as a tick on a big, fat doggy. Youll go far someday. To answer those who know you and the situation you're going through, use these replies. "Accept the facts for what they are, and be grateful you're not being strung along or played.". I always yawn when Im interested. Its not my choice, but its still a choice. Have you met food? My only talent is not being in a relationship. Because no one worthy has beaten me yet in a card fight! I text the same message ' are you alive' when I haven't heard from them in a while. The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. 1. This was one of the quickest ways there was to send a message from one person to another. Nevertheless, it can be a great approach to start a lively discussion! 25. You can put your foot in your mouth and your head up your ass at the same time! I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries page and if Im not there, I carry on as usual. Patrick Moore (astronomer), He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death. HH Munro (author), My father was from Aberdeen, and a more generous man you couldnt wish to meet. Awwits so cute when you talk about things you dont understand. 88. Id rather have a doughnut on my finger than a real ring. Get your own life first before you try sharing it. 70. For example, when people expect you to say yes, you say no; when people wish you to say a big number, you give a tiny number. Id love to insult you, but you probably wouldnt understand. Thats because my husband/wife wont let me date. Perfect for that BRB, shower text that they never BRBd to. I bet if you stood on a street corner, youd make some money. My psychiatrist says that I shouldnt discuss it with strangers. Do you ever find yourself getting annoyed with yourself because you just thought of an awesomely good comeback to something someone said earlier? 350 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic. I hated you the moment I met you, and I still hate you. I hear good things; however, you should never listen to rumors. In a coma, you still have brain function, which doctors can measure by observing electrical activity and your reactions to external stimuli. Congratulations, sir. 48. Furthermore, he has teaching experience from Aarhus University. More like, How I Met That Jerk I Quickly Forgot About. Maybe because I lick my plate clean after having a scrumptious meal. Youll never be even half the man your mother is. You'll be asked how you are almost every single day, which is why you should add some humor to your answers. The Nine Canonical Responses to 'U Mad,' the - Intelligencer Check out the following infographic for some practical tips to maintain a conversation and take it forward.SaveIllustration: StyleCraze Design Team. 57. It's one of the best replies to "How are you?". 3. 35 Best Texts to Respond to a Date that has Ghosted You Reply. Heart-shattering. 55+ Coronavirus Memes Funny Coronavirus Memes - Parade: Entertainment Liked what you just read? It might seem like a joke, but this is what I think. If there is just one valid reason for someone not replying to you, that reason would be their death. Now you can be! This one is a bit depressing, which is why you should watch when you use it. They used to call them jumpolines, until your mom jumped on one. I was doing great, before you came. but it's just so blunt and funny. Thats because I only enjoy long, romantic walks to the fridge. Brian OldWolf (author) from Troon on January 20, 2020: Shing Araya from Philippines on January 08, 2020: All are witty and funny at the same time. Do you have a minute? How impressive! While using humor and creativity in your responses is fun, ensure you steer clear from using puns related to religion and sensitive topics. Not sure why you're asking me my age. Perhaps it will encourage them to respond quicker in the future. For some reason, some people think that not texting back is cool. Have you been thinking? Youre not going to use the same response to your dad as you would your best friend, right? "My level of sarcasm has gotten to a point where I don't even know if I am kidding anymore.". still alive 810 GIFs. 47. Voice command: Alexa, open the pod bay doors. For instance, have you hooked up since you've broken up? IDK, pick your favorite fictional player. My favorites were: "I'd rather have bamboo shoots shoved under my toenails." "I'd rather be in hell with both arms cut off." He was an angry, creative man. Is your family tree a cactus? 90 Sarcastic Quotes for Witty Comebacks Full of Sarcasm - Quote Ambition Im a little busy right now, but Id love the chance to ignore you some other time. Maybe this person really likes you, and they have a heart condition. Finnish with this conversation! "Fine" is a boring conversation-killer. "If it looks like I give a damn, please tell me. The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Rotting flesh is less offensive than you. You may join me, though. I laugh at my own jokes before I finish them. Just because you have a dick doesnt mean you need to act like one. [Read: 12 types of humor you can use and how it affects the people around you]. It depends on what or who I compare myself to. The truth is, if you really want to get him back, you should follow the steps outlined here.. 5. Rather than kicking yourself later when you think of something clever you should have said, keep a few witty insults and comebacks at the ready, just in case. Depending on your mood and relationship with the person, you can go one of many ways. 20. If this doesn't get a response, it's sure to get a laugh. 36. There is no gray area (<brain matter joke): either you are brain-dead or you are not. funny response to are you still alive. Its because I always show up on dates with bottles of wine for myself. Your email address will not be published. I'm happy! Share the best GIFs now >>> Or, "Happy and content, thanks for asking. As a result, they were so fixated on thinking about you, they forgot to reply to you. Steven Wright (comedian). Could be better, though. Some people spend all their time on their phone. Its better to be single with high standards than be in a relationship settling for less. You have more faces than Mount Rushmore. Nothing that you probably cant figure out if you tried. But, whats the likelihood of that happening? Theres this one time when a cute guy/gal asked me if I have a boyfriend/girlfriend and I said yes because I didnt hear the question. More like give me a sign that you're still alive. Let them know that you're itching to go on a date. If you are in a coma, then that is a valid excuse for not texting back. Some of the best, wittiest, and most humorous quotations in the English language are quotations about age, childhood, adolescence, middle age, and old age most of all, about growing old! I do admite that sometimes I hate life, sometimes my hate being in the world! If corporate email language won't do it, nothing will. 1. 16. 68. (Use a sexy tone). Clever comebacks not only showcase your distastethey demonstrate your intelligence, too. It doesn't mean that you don't actually take showers. It's impossible for things to be perfect. Is that a scar on your face? 71. By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. 3. I agree, thanks for sharing. 66. Nice outfit. No, they're prison pants. I havent met the right one yet. For instance, a friend will be amused when you sarcastically reply, Not today, Satan! However, I need to take you back about 12 years to answer that question. 67 Of The Most Hilarious Responses To Public Notices Ever Use them as you see fit when someone pokes their nose on your relationship status. (bonus points to you if you sing it). I'm glad to know that you're alive.". Once youre dead, youre made for life. Jimi Hendrix (musician), Death will be a great relief, no more interviews. Katharine Hepburn (actress), Death is a delightful hiding place for weary men. Herodotus (historian), You know youre old when the candles cost more than the cake. Bob Hope (comedian), Some men are alive simply because it is against the law to kill them. EW Howe (author), There are more dead people than living, and their numbers are increasing. It's Okay. Then I hope you find someone whos good looking, honest, smart, and cultured. Why not laugh about it and allow it to bring us closer together? After all, every single day that you're still alive is a good day overall. Im not single. Looking at my life, half the time I see that I don't live half of what I should! Sarcastic comebacks come in handy any time someone is behaving in a particularly annoying way. On this page, I've gathered together 100 of the best. It was also revealed that 40% of users who said they had done the ghosting did so because they simply didnt know how to explain their disinterest and felt that disappearing altogether was less hurtful. Your friends will expect you to say "fine" or "good," so shake things up by providing an unexpected answer. Im single by choice. "You know I can do this anytime.". Does the new one work any better? I dont think youre an idiot but whats my opinion compared to countless others? 29. I'd love to give you a nasty look, but it appears you already have one. 42. This answer is correct because the best responses to "how are you" should contain an adverb. 11. Because you havent put a ring on it yet. Alive Quotes (560 quotes) - Goodreads Are you going to help me have a good day? He sold it to me on his deathbed. Maybe because I have a Ph.D. in impatience. Spiritually? Our goal is to create English lessons that are easy to understand for everyone. Congrats, guys! Well, Im married to our lord and savior, Jesus Christ. Reproduction without explicit permission is prohibited. Also you texted very late; I would think one of my friends were joking or drunk since it's near Halloween. Hey, I can see straight to the back of your head when I look into your eyes! Another way to say Still Alive? ", This one works well when you're still in your pajamas or are having a bad hair day. 94. I am not sure what you mean. That will ensure there will be at least one man who will regret my death. Heinrich Heine (author), Fear of death increases in exact proportion to increase in wealth. Ernest Hemingway (author), Its funny the way most people love the dead. I'm so sorry I expected you to acknowledge my existence after hanging out? While I'd love to give you the technique behind his funny comeback I can't. He may simply be one of the quickest minds in the West. Humans are very complex creatures, but we're also creatures of habit who say one thing when we mean another. [Read: How to be funny and make someone laugh over text just by being YOU]. Grab a few of these snarky but oh-savage good comebacks ahead of time, and youll be ready to win any argument. Call the police." 13 Quora User . If its better than yours Ill chalk it up as a win. I am the hurricane setting fire to the forests at night when no one else is alive or awake however you choose to see it and I live in my own flames sometimes burning too bright and too wild to make things last or handle myself or anyone else and so I run. So much better than most people. This one gets to the point of what they want to know, it's humorous, and it makes ya think. My grandfather had a ton of these. Funny Answers to How Are You Doing? As anyone who knows anything about human biology will know, when a woman misses her period, that is a sign she is pregnant.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,100],'grammarhow_com-box-3','ezslot_13',105,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-box-3-0'); Therefore, if she were to rely on your messages for her period, she would be pregnant by now. Because it sounds like some kind of automated message. Socrates (philosopher), "The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated." Everyone knows a happy dog wags his tail, so if you're feeling happy and joyful, this would be a good response to give to someone asking how you're doing because it's clever and unique. 61. If at first, you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. What if questions can help you form connections fast, but you don't want to rush or force it. "It's a funny thing about life, once you begin to take note of the things you are grateful for, you begin to lose sight of the things that you lack.". Giving witty and interesting responses instead of the generic Im fine is often the smartest way to kickstart a nice conversation after the greeting How Are You?. It takes a specific kind of person to ghost someone its really not that hard to send a quick Im not interested text but rest assured, they exist. Let's face itat my age, I'm very pleased to be anywhere." George Burns (comedian) "The trouble with quotes about death is that 99.9% of them are made by people who are still alive." Joshua Burns. Your birth certificate is an apology to your parents from the hospital. I hate looking at my life and seeing that some of the people that are most important to me aren't here anymore! How to respond to an ex asking how you are? It looks a little too clingy and hard to maintain. Make sure the person you say this to is able to take a joke. 15. 4. Thats why Im single. 101 Funny And Witty Responses To The Question "How Are You?" Maybe I am a kindergartner? Nice and dandy, like cotton candy. Stop asking me why Im single! I'm afraid I can't do that. On the plus side, a little humor injected into someones day can have a positive impact on their otherwise average day! Copyright 2011 - 2023 IncNut Stylecraze Private Limited. As unlikely as this is, it might be wise to double-check. 3. Id sue my parents if I had a face like yours. Im telling you, the trash gets taken out more than me.